Comparing yourself to someone or something else is a bitch. It’s a shit show. I’m going to flat out start by saying that.

Count me as one of the leading members of the Comparison Club. But like anything else, I know the downside of being part of it. It’s terrifying. My cycle goes as follows:

• I’m okay with what I’m doing in life
• I scroll on social media, chat with a friend about their lives, see an influencer post something, or read something that triggers me into a spiral of self-doubt
• I get inspired by whatever they’re doing while at the same time, I look back at what I’ve accomplished thus far
• I put some unrealistic value and compare all of my accomplishments and how I haven’t amounted to anything compared to [insert person]
• I think long and hard about my life choices and where I’m at
• I forget all about it until I see the next thing that triggers me

AND SCENE.
That’s the typical cycle. Timing may vary.

I already covered getting stuck in my own head. But it gets worse when I play the comparison game.

• Look at what they’ve done! Look how cool that is.
• How did they get there?
• Am I just stupid?
• Should I switch life plans?
• I’m doing some stupid stuff with my life.
• HOW did they achieve that, and why can’t I get that?

The questioning goes on and on.

And trust me, I know, and I hear you when someone says, “Never compare yourself. It doesn’t get you anywhere. You have different paths! Comparing yourself will get you nowhere. Everyone is different.” I’ve heard it all. But right now, I’m just venting about it, K? Comparing yourself is inevitable. Lucky for those who can get out of their head from that. That’s something I feel takes excellent restraint.

I’m in no way saying I’m not happy with my life. I love my life. I love where I am. There’s just things when I look at the bigger picture that makes me think I could be doing more, or I’m doing it all wrong. Trust me, I tell myself and try to convince myself, “But what you’re doing and destined for is so different.”

Again, more comfortable to say it than believe it.

I know I do a lot. I know I achieved a lot. But when you see someone else excel in other areas you wish to excel or be better at, it fucks you up. I’ve compared myself to strangers, co-workers, friends, and even family members. It’s hard to fight with yourself, wishing you were better. It’s exhausting. It’s emotionally draining to think of yourself in such a negative light.

“Wow, Ashley. She did that right. Why couldn’t you do that? You could have EASILY done something like that, but you’re lazy.” OR the other thing that I tend to repeat to myself, “You’re 27, dude. What the HELL are you doing? That person is 22. Get it together.”

Me quoting me

It’s so toxic too. The shit we tell ourselves when we’re comparing. It’s fucked up to your self-esteem!!! In a way, it could be positive since it pushes me to do more in my life and drives the fire under my ass to go for what I want. It just really hurts at the moment when you deep dive into self-reflection. It’s not that I’m hating on anyone. That’s me needing to figure out how to accept what is happening healthily. 

A message to everyone reading this: keep doing what you’re doing because the more you do it, the more I get inspired to go out and learn, grow, put out my shit, and be proud.

And that’s the other thing. The moment you start doing what someone else may be doing too comes to the whole idea of “copy-catting.” Not sure if there’s a term for that, but you know where I’m getting at. When I started my blog, I started thinking, “So and so is gonna think I’m copying them.” But we’re all in our lanes doing our own thing just trying to live life and do what makes them happy. Blogging makes me happy. Making videos make me happy. Cooking makes other people happy. I’m not too fond of the whole copy-cat stigma. I’m ranting on that now, but I’ll save that for another post because I have thoughts.

Speaking of thoughts…

I’m glad a couple of you reacted strongly to my IG Story a few days ago when I talked about the idea of comparing one another. Thanks for your responses because I related 100% and reminded me that I’m not alone on any of this.

I’m trying to get better at this but to quote a few cliches: Rome wasn’t built in the day and trust the process. It’ll take some time but I’m glad to get this off my chest.

If y’all feel inclined to continue the conversation, leave a comment, send me a DM, or heck, text me and we could continue this offline because it makes me feel some type of way when someone relates to this content.