Happy Father’s Day!
This year is a bit weird and different for me personally. My dad’s in the Philippines, and due to COVID-19, we haven’t been able to see him because of the travel restrictions. I know he will never read this (lol), but love ya dad!
This is the only second How You Doin’? But, I’m so excited to share this with you guys. I asked my three friends who happen to all be #GirlDads. Their responses made me warm and fuzzy inside. While two of them are waiting for their bundle of joys, and one of them is well on their way raising his amazing lil’ girl, David, Joseph, and Jose shared their thoughtful poppa responses.
Please read on and enjoy hearing from these amazing dads.
I’m doing ok. Between the pandemic and social unrest, it can be overwhelming, but my faith keeps me going and gives me hope. We just moved from our first apartment, which was emotional & hard work, but we know it’s for the best. Now, we’re counting down and preparing for baby girl’s arrival. Thanks for asking!
I am ok! With everything going on, it’s been really nice to stay home and watch Stella grow these last couple of months. She’s up and moving! Also… It’s nice to be around Nicole (sometimes) lol!
I’m great! The quarantine thing has been a lot of adjusting, but I’m just glad that Lam has had the time to rest and prepare for these twins. That has been the silver lining in all of this for me.
In the wake of Kobe’s death, we saw the term #GirlDad popularized. What does this term mean to you? And how are you preparing to be the best #GirlDad you can be?
David: To me, the term “girldad” celebrates men who are proud to have daughters (RIP Kobe). I’ve seen videos of some soon-to-be-fathers who are disappointed during their gender reveals when they see pink rather than blue. Not only that, I’ve personally seen & heard stories of “fathers” who abandon their child simply because they’re a girl, which is beyond horrible. Having a girl is not a punishment & should not be seen as a negative thing. It was encouraging to see the #girldad hashtag go viral & see all the girldad’s, both average guys & celebrities, show their pride. This world needs more little Camille’s than little me’s, so I’m beyond happy & proud to be a #girldad!
In this male-dominated society, I will strive to do my best to instill in my daughter that she is very much loved, cared for, and valued. No matter what the world/society/culture tells her.
Joseph: Lam has always said that she’s seen me as a #GirlDad, and really I’ve always loved that idea. Having seen Kobe play the way he did against the Warriors all these years, I naturally hated how good he was. As I grew, I appreciated how amazing Kobe was.
As it came to his retirement, it was immensely cool to see how he engulfed himself in his girls’ lives. I feel like making sure you pay attention is the strongest way I can be there for my girls. Listening, learning, and loving everything these girls show me is the best way I can prepare, I think!
Jose: A #GirlDad is empowering her! It’s letting her know that she can do ANYTHING regardless of gender roles or societal expectations. As a #GirlDad, it’s my responsibility to show her that strength, boldness, and courage are adjectives that aren’t ONLY attached to boys! And that she can identify as a strong Filipinx/Latinx girl! She will be more than capable of getting a seat at the table with the boys WITH her girlfriends!
What fears do you have for your baby girls for the future?
David: Oh, man, there are quite a bit. I think one of the biggest (if not the biggest) fears for [our daughter] is safety/protection when I’m not around. I’d be a fool to not acknowledge that sex trafficking, rape, kidnapping, etc. are very real, and it doesn’t seem like it’s getting any better. That’s the unfortunate reality of the world that she’s born into and getting worse.
I have to do my part to make sure that she is prepared for anything, aware of her surroundings, and can defend herself. But, at the same time, I have faith that God will protect her, especially when I can’t be there. It’s tough.
Joseph: Oooooooooh, man. I just feel like the way the world is moving is so crazy right now. I think that having extremely strong female role models is a huge advantage that this next generation has. I’ve had a huge list of very influential women in my life, ranging from my great-grandmother and all the way to Lam and her sisters. I just want to see how they can pull from others on how to maneuver this world.
I just fear that they could grow up in a place that genuinely doesn’t see the value that they could bring to society. I’ve always told Lam that I’ll do whatever it possibly takes for them to know how important they are and how far they can go in this life.
Jose: I fear that she’ll grow up in a world that is so hateful and harsh that it negatively impacts how she views herself and treats others. I hope that Nicole and I can instill kindness, compassion, confidence, and standing tall when things don’t sit right. Honestly, she is half of Nicole, so I’m sure the force is with her!
What are you personally excited to experience?
David: There’s much more to be excited about than to be fearful of! In the near future, I’m excited about seeing who/what she looks like. I’ve wanted to have a family since I can remember and always envisioned what my children would look like. So, to see my dream to become a reality in the flesh will definitely be a trip. I’m also excited to see her grow & develop throughout the years. It will be both beautiful & heartbreaking.
Lastly, I’m excited to go through this parenting experience with my wife. We’ve known each other since we were in elementary school & have gone through so many different phases of our relationship, but this will be new.
Joseph: I’m personally excited to just exist with Lam and these girls. They haven’t been born yet (hopefully we have a few weeks left!), and I just feel so much love for them. I’d run through walls for them. But I just can’t wait to see how Lam and I grow as people and how we’re supposed to just figure out how to raise little humans lol.
What’s a trait you hope they get from either you or your wife?
David: I really do hope she’s a mini-me of Camille. Her beauty, her hair, her dimple, but especially her raspy voice. I really don’t want her to look like me with long hair. Aside from physically, I hope she also gets Camille’s humility & simplicity/non-boujeeness.
Joseph: I truly hope they are as stubborn and driven as Lam. That’s the easiest thing I can say for sure. When she locks into something, she’s unstoppable. I hope they get my goofy-ness when it comes to how they approach little things. I hope they care about whatever they’re passionate about as much as I love getting obsessed over things. I just pray they find something they love and hold on to them forever, just like I did with their mother. (Lol creepy).
For soon-to-be-dads, what advice would you give them?
Jose: Make sure to sleep! But all jokes aside, fatherhood is the best job ever! It’s a lot of ups and downs but mostly highs. Make sure to ride the wave and enjoy each giggle, cuddle, and smile.
Your best dad joke. And go.
